The formation of rain-shadow deserts

What works: Splitting the process into the windward and leeward sides is a very good idea. It is the main comparison in the diagram, and the overview says it. The body follows the stages in the right order.

Problems:

1. The response is under 150 words (136). Examiners lower the TA score for this. You had space to add the details listed below. Count your words before you finish.
2. The overview misses the key cause. The point of the diagram is that the air loses its moisture as rain on the windward side, so it is dry when it reaches the other side. Your overview says the air "comes down dry" but not why. Also say how many stages there are.
   • ❌ "Overall, there are two sides to the process. When the wind collides with mountains, it moves up and comes down dry on the other side."
   • ✅ "Overall, the process consists of seven stages that take place on opposite sides of the mountains. On the windward side, moist sea air rises and loses its moisture as rain, while on the leeward side, the resulting dry air descends and creates a desert inland."
3. Some details are not in the diagram. The diagram doesn't say the clouds "move even higher" or that "low temperatures" cause rain. It only shows that clouds form and rain falls. Report what is shown.
   • ❌ "The clouds then move even higher and the low temperatures cases rain to fall."
   • ✅ "These clouds then release their moisture as rain over the mountain."
4. The introduction misreads the distance. The arrow shows that the whole journey, from the coast to the desert, covers thousands of kilometres. "with traveling of wind by tousands of kilometers" is unclear.
   • ✅ "…as winds travel thousands of kilometres from the sea, across a mountain range, to inland areas."
5. Stage 7 is missing a detail. The dry wind goes down the leeward slope before it reaches the inland areas. "after the slope" is vague.

What works: The structure is clear: introduction, overview, windward side, leeward side. You use sequencing words well (This is followed by, then, once).

Fixes:

• "thereby," again. This was also flagged in your last feedback. "thereby, rains-shadow deserts are formed…" starts with a lowercase letter, and "thereby" can't start a sentence like "therefore" can. Use "As a result, rain-shadow deserts form behind the mountains."
• "where" is used wrongly. "…rising and cooling of the moist air, where it froms clouds." "Where" refers to a place, not a process. → "As the moist air rises, it cools, and clouds form."
• Link the two body paragraphs. Body 2 starts with "dry air" but never says why the air is dry. Open with a reference back: "Having lost its moisture, the air that continues over the mountain is now dry."

What works: You use the diagram's key terms correctly: windward side, leeward side, moist air, inland areas. "collides with" is a good verb choice.

Spelling errors (six in 136 words, which is what pulls this score down):

Note: froms / forms is the same letter swap as from / form in your last task. Check this word every time.

Also:

• "kilometers": fine in American spelling, but the diagram uses British kilometres. Pick one and keep it.
• "the destination of the traveling wind" is wordy. → "where the winds end up" or simply "in the inland areas".

What works: You use a mix of simple and complex forms: "When the wind collides with mountains, it…", "once the dry air has continued over the mountain", and the passive "gets pushed upwards" / "is formed".

Errors that come up more than once:

1. Missing articles (the most frequent error):
   • "how rain-shadow desert is formed" → "how a rain-shadow desert is formed"
   • "wind approaches coast" → "the wind approaches the coast"
   • "collides with mountains" → "collides with the mountains"
   • "rain-shadow desert is formed at…" → "a rain-shadow desert is formed…"
2. Missing comma after an opening clause: "As the air is dry rain-shadow desert is formed" → "As the air is dry, a rain-shadow desert is formed".
3. Noun phrase is unclear: "with traveling of wind by thousands of kilometers" → "as the wind travels thousands of kilometres". Use a verb, not a noun with "of".
4. Register: "gets pushed" is informal. In academic writing, use "is pushed".

1. Reach 150 words. At 136, you lose TA marks no matter how good the content is. Aim for 160–190.
2. Explain the cause in the overview. For a natural process, say why the outcome happens: the air drops its rain on the windward side, so it is dry on the leeward side.
3. Two habits that appeared in both tasks:
   • Don't start a sentence with "thereby,". Use "As a result," or "Consequently,".
   • Proofread for letter swaps (form/from/froms) and missing letters (inlad, tousands). Spend the last 2 minutes on spelling and articles (a/the).